Ramblings of a mental patient

I think I’m getting better at procrastinating.

For anyone who cares, here’s the pic from my birthday party that gave me. Its the 2 of us from back in like 1987. This was me in like jr high.

See? At some point I had hair. I think this was the year I started growing it out….

A friend of a friend teaches. His class did a report on Romeo & Juliette. One of the papers ended with the line:

“At the end of the play, Juliet kills herself for her love for Romeo and feminine weakness.”

Ah, the shining future of our enlightened youth.

I’ve been thinking of getting more ink lately. I’m thinking tribal art on my ribs down both sides. It’ll hurt like hell, but it’ll look great if its done right.

“Wow, thats interesting…”

“What? Did you look at your asshole in a mirror or something?”

There was a power surge or some random thing last night/this AM. I got to work and almost nothing works. No email, no code repository. Hell, even the web is busted for most people since the proxy is out.

Since we have basic connectivity and I’m obsessive to the point of knowing the IP address, I took the slack time to login to my colo’d box in AZ and check my morning news with that rockin text only browser ‘links’ and write some emacs macro’s I’ve been meaning to do for months now.

Last night I ripped more of my older music. Its been a long time since I listened to pink floyd, and now I really want to watch The Wall again. Its been well over 10 years since I saw that movie. Despite its reputation, watching it in an extreme state of altered conciousness wasn’t as profound as I was led to expect. Still, its a great album and an interesting movie if you really let yourself experience it.

Ya know, I’ve tried for a while now to tell people that no thank you, I don’t actually want anything for the holidays. There’s nothing I need that I don’t already have. While I appreciate the thought, I really feel bad accepting gifts. Give something to someone who needs it, not some fat alcoholic with no hair.

If you really wanna help me out? Help me finish putting together a PC for my cousin in Vermont. He’s really sick and video games are his big outlet. Or my brother. He could use a hand with his kid and keeping things running smoothly in his life. Or, if that’s too far, help me think of something for my mom. She’s done chemo and radiation but still feels like crap. I’m sure she’d appreciate anything you’d care to get me. But something for me? That’s just tacky. I have a beautiful life, a loving wife and everything I need to enjoy the world. It just feels selfish to ask for anything for myself when those around me actually need so much.

Maybe I’m just going about it the wrong way or people just can’t take no for an answer.

1. Elbow length rubber gloves.
2. horse speculum.
3. vibrating anal beads
4. large rubber mallet
5. bail money
6. wood chipper
7. 6 gallons of bleach
8. case of astroglide
9. a new axe

We went car shopping today. Kat is having a mini built just for her. So we have about 6 weeks to sort out loan arrangements. All in all it cost less than I thought it would. I can’t wait for her to get it

“His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free”
Chuck Smith, Woodbridge

I love language. Some of these are amusing, some are quite terrible. There’s at least one blatant Douglas Adams rip off, but its all fun.

Worst high school analogies ever written in an essay.

I covet this 404 page. I think I’m broken.

I think I’m at my all time heaviest. So, besides exercise I need to cut useless calories. This means that I really can’t afford to continue to drink the way I do. I can’t help it. I’m a binge drinker. I drink to get drunk, then I drink more. The world almost feels weird if its not spinning rapidly around me. So, I guess this means I have to retire my title of functional alcoholic and assume the title of Recovering Alcoholic. So, when you see me breaking this rule it means I’m cheating and betraying myself. My goal is to lose this gut over the next few months. So, its off to the gym with myself….. and out with the booze…

I really wonder if I can do this. In some ways I see echos of my parents. Both of them had pretty bad drinking problems. I’m not quite as bad yet, but I can see it coming. I really need to get a grip and fight this thing. Help.